Heat

Everywhere too hot.

It is safe to say there is no more need for introductions, but it never hurts to say, “Hello, once again.”

I have nothing to say. I just want to rant.

Everywhere is hot. My head is hot. My bum is hot. The sun is angry and I am writing this and sweating from places I never thought was possible.

One of the secondary reasons I need to leave this country is because of this hell-like weather. No one can convince me that this weather is fit for humans to live in. At least, in those -0-degree weather, you can wear multiple layers of clothing and be all right. In this boiler room of a country, whether you are stark naked, wearing the lightest piece of clothing, or in your 9-5 suit — you are on the grill and you are going to boil.

The other day, I was under the shower thinking about how great my sin must have been in my previous life — because that is the only justification for being born here. The moment I turned off the water, I started feeling hot all over again.

Skincare people — the money you are saving for skin care, use it to eat. Why are you even trying? After applying moisturizer, five minutes later, the sun is moisturizing your entire body. Oh, yes! You have your sunscreen.

Ten minutes after applying sunscreen on your face, what happens?

You are out there looking like an Ojuju from Calabar.

I know many of you have stopped using deodorants. I also know you people do not love yourselves — so, I am not going to ask you to love your neighbors. Kill them with the stench of this hell-like weather.

I also know some of you here cannot relate to the nonsense I have just written. You are rich. The moment you leave your house, you are getting into a fully air-conditioned car to a greater air-conditioned office and repeat the process till you get home. Honestly, I love it for you.

As for the rest of you that cannot relate, may God bless you if it is necessary.

Goodbye! Take care of yourselves or not.

Fuck! I don dey sweat again.

Song of the week - Listen to the drops of sweat falling off your body.

Nezo.

Nigerian by birth,

Indian by hemp,

Canadian by loud.

Signed - Nezo, St Patron of women with vowels in their names, especially the ones with 0-2 boyfriends.