It is safe to say there is no more need for introductions, but it never hurts to say, “Hello, once again.”
This installment of this newsletter is proudly sponsored by empty stomach, blurry vision, and loss of appetite PLC.
Ramadan Kareem! Abi how una dey talk am?
It has been brought to my attention that I talk to my friends the same way a therapist would talk to a patient they are in love with — and I say that is unprofessional in every sense of the word.
First things first, I apologize for trying to make you feel less lonely in this lonely world. I am sorry, it won’t happen again.
I lied.
There is one little problem — I enjoy conversations, maybe a little too much, but most importantly, I enjoy handing out my listening ears to whoever needs them. On the surface, you would be surprised at how well put together everyone looks and act. But when you get close and they start to talk about themselves, you start to see the cracks in the essence of their very soul.
A listening ear and a replied text can be the difference between a person thinking their life is a minimal shit-show and a shit-show of epic proportions.
Let’s say one day, you receive a text from a friend, you read through it and you think to yourself and say — I will reply later. What if later never comes? What if the next message you get is the one announcing their death?
Let’s say one day, you receive a text from a friend. This particular friend, you have always replied to their texts, and the one day you did not — you got a message announcing their death.
If you look close around my neck, I still don the trauma of consequences personally handcrafted by my inactions.
Maybe one day, I would be able to let go. Till then, I will keep handing out listening ears like the weekend hands outs weekdays.
In another life, and maybe somewhere in my past lives, there is probably a psychology degree with my name on it out there. The interesting thing about listening to people — is that sooner rather than later, you realize that people are just people, and our problems all converge at an intersection to discuss how to make us feel like we have hit the lowest of lows— when seven out of ten times, all you need is someone to listen to you, validate your decisions and the bad ones too while calling you out on your bad and delinquent behaviors.
On the other hand, maybe there is a consultancy job in my future — or a job that lets me talk to people all the time.
Nine out of ten times, I think I say the right things. But the fun part is when I say the occasional odd thing and my friend(s) look at me like a bad idea.
Besides, what’s a practice without a bit of malpractice? Please, do not quote me. That was a joke.
For some weird reason, my friends and people, in general, feel comfortable telling me things I would never tell anyone or the CIA — even if they stick a broomstick in my pee-hole by the way of torture.
Maybe it’s a superpower or maybe my friends are so far gone than I would like to admit.
All in all, I am not a therapist. I just enjoy talking to my friends — and no, I am not in love with them. I just talk to them that way. My friends and just my friends.
Anyways, come to me as you are. Broke? I will not give you money — But I will pick up your pieces.
Lastly, do not bring your problems to me.
Hey! How are you feeling today?
Adios! Once again, let’s give a loud cheer to our sponsors. Yay!
Song of the week - What He Said by Laura Marling.
Nezo.
Nigerian by birth,
Indian by hemp,
Canadian by loud.
Signed - Nezo, St Patron of women with vowels in their names, especially the ones with 0-2 boyfriends.